My mum turned to me today after i had said that this year i finally quieted down and am concentrating on studying, that i have finnaly matured.

Maybe so. Maybe not. But all i know, is that i am changing. i dont like people the way that i once did. i dont like speaking up to them, or having to make them laugh so i just dont. people can exist, thats fine with me. But wither or not i decide to associate with them is something else.

Today someone annoyed me. it was suprising that he did. interesting.


there are more profound things in which i should address yet, wont of course.

tis me.


i was thinking of maybe having a boyfriend this year, but then i began to think about who i would go out with and... haha, that lasted what three seconds? one kid is cute, but no chemistry, the other i really like/ liked but thats never going to develop into anything becasue of either a. he doenst like me or b. hes to much of a pussy to make the first move and i dont do that. so eh, i'm shit outa luck. acutally. i dont know.


who knows.

that was incredibly shallow. haha, i laugh at my stupidity, actually i'm running from the things that must be addressed so i turn to the inane. oh well.

i wont adress them now or here.

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