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Deathly Ramble
Thursday. 10.7.04 10:11 pm
Much better as to how this thing is suppose to look. Green, Tahoma, size 8. Perfect. haha. maybe gray would be good but then again i don't really feel like changing that right now so i guess i just won't. man i really like STP and VR good bands. ^_^ i think it's just cuz i have a thing for scott wilend. I can't spell his name, oh well. so be it.

This is me slowy burning out. seriously. i think i am burning out like a motherfucker. this week has been terribly insane. i don't like it. SAT SAT WORK WORK HOSPITAL shit.

Running ninety miles per hour is insane.


so i had a dream with this kid in it. it was an interesting dream. apparently i've had it before cuz when i told my sister she told me i had it before. and come to think about it i have. this kid is cool. my parents like him. hes cool. Whatever. But in the dream he handed me a coin and then... well the dream proceeded. but i was looking at the book of universal symbols and it has something to do with the middle between earth and heaven. the coin, in chinese culture at least. a coin with a square puncture in the middle. yeah, i know. but it symbolizes the area where the emperor derives between earth and heaven, as i said. its just interesting. Now, what can that mean? I do not know man, i need to tell my mom but i don't want to tell her about the rest of the dream so i guess i won't but then again, who fucking knows dude. oh well. Tis all a mystery. No actually, thats a good sign. a really good sign. dont know what's going to come of it but oh well. we shall see...

i asked my mom about the saunce. yeah. not a good idea. Strong want to but no. Disrespectful. she gave me a WHOLE list about it and i was like... ok. i catch. actually i already knew everything that she was going to say i just wanted to confirm. strong can go off and be a dumbass doing whatever but i'm going to keep with my beliefs. I was thinking about that, i bitch about how i'm not asian and how i'm white instead but i'm not. I really am asian on the inside. i have a hard core set of principles, beliefs, and mind set that are characteristically asian. The core of my beliefs sound very buddhist. which is interesting. I really am way more asian then i would like to think. I do admire some aspects of the oriental culture, there is no doubt, it's just the flaws stand out more. Ju is cool b/c he's asian while still being white washed as shit. but i know deep down inside he's a good guy cause he's asian. and he knows. I really miss speaking chinese. seriously. i really do. I was talking to this kid in canto and man, do i wish i spoke full chinese. i understood him no doubt but, i couldn't convey what i wanted to without english. damn, it was still refreshing. going back to my roots. haha, but oh well. i think i'm going to learn chinese. seriously, it will be alot of fun man. alot of fun.


English
Spanish
Canto
Japanese
Korean
Farci

Those are the languages that i am going to know before i die. seriously. i've got an ear for it, i just need to sit there and do it. Spanish was easy as shit, Canto was easy i just forgot alot of it, Japanese is easy just annoying, Korean is easy i just havnt had the time to submurge my self in it. if i did i would get it. Farci, thats a bit more difficult but i think i can get there. eventually.


Dude, learning languages is just fucking cool to me.
is that bad? i am a fucking geek.


damn....


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