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Monday. 3.22.04 10:16 pm
I cant help it. I sigh. There are a billion things running through my head. So many things. There are a multitude of people running through my head. Guilt hammers at me. Happiness begs to be let through, Sadness drowns me, and question berates my being. I cannot separate these feelings and i dont dare answer them all at once. Lets try one at a time.

I cant think about jessica. I want to, but cant. There are things holding me back, risks i cannot take, and consequences i cannot heed. I did have dreams, many dreams. I believe my dreams. They are a curse and gift. But my dragon was chained. It was chained and being carried away. I cannot let that happen. I have to fight that. I have given up so much, for a reward much greater. But time must go by, much time, before i will be able to even touch what gold i have built up for. Thats what he tells me, thats what my dreams tell me. So be it. I hurt, i pain, and i guilt, but, this is my consequnce, this is what I deserve. This is what i will live through. i am sorry. Give it time. In time.

Shes not the only one in there though. I went home with bonnie today because i needed to pick up my dads stuff but her sister wasnt there and the stuff was in her car but anyways, i heard some interesting stuff on the way. dont know if i can write it on here. but she told me something that i took notice of. Interesting. didnt think it possible, but knew it secretly. Hrm. a heart is a beautiful thing to hide.


saw ben today. smiled. walked on. nothings going to happen. i sigh. nice kid. really liked chilling with him. fun to hang out with. hrm. classical music and gin. i smile.... till next nasa trip. eh.


today was suds day. it was interesting, annoying, and lovely all at the same time. (i forgot to add painful) hrm.


enough. im good. hey mr. twinkle. advice welcomed and thanked. ^_^

uh oh... a bloody nose... not these again...
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» Irwin (202.108.50.72) on 2010-09-03 11:36:24

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